Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Time now is 216am... Sitting infront of my com... I dunno wat to start wit... There are alot of things that i wan to say out... All the effort i put in this relationship...
Some ppl say b4
"在每一场戏的后面，都是每一个演员的汗血和苦劳"
I totally agree... all the effort the actors and actress they put into the show... all those which we cant see... To her many things i do seem childish, not independent enough and not cherishing this relationship... But is this the truth? I admit i m childish and sometimes dependent on her... But regarding cherishing, i totally disagree...
Does she noe all the effort i put behind all this relationship? All those she cant see or hear... Does she realli go think about all those things i present in front of her? Childish? Not independent?
Let take a example of the bdae thing ba... Many days before her bdae... i run online to check for flowers... Then i travel from home( Yishun) to tampines mall to find the flower shop...Then after that i go to westmall (Bukit Batok) to find the present... When i m unable to find a nice one, i went to Causeway point(Woodland) to search all the shops of the entire building just to find the right present for her b4 going back home... Yishun to tampines to Bukit Batok to Woodland n back to Yishun... It is almost an entire trip around Singapore... I even bring RQ along so that i can get his opinion of the things i brought... Even though i noe i would be laughed by RQ... But i noe i mus get the best for her cause it her 18 bdae...
So the day b4 her bdae, i get of YT frend (could not remember her name) and thx for her help to get things done even though things crops out during that day... When her frend couldnot get mi the right location of her aunt salon... i search the entire area... She rejected all my calls, didnt reply all my msg... Actually on the day, i didnt wan to ask for stead... i jus to give her a memorable day... Even though i lie to her that i want to ask( happen after the whole incident)
Is this the treatment i get for the effort? Seraching whole day for her jus because i wan to pass the presents directly to her and wish her a happy bdae... childish? Ya, Without the the effort been said it is plain childish... But nvr mind... wo ren le...
Then recently jus a few weeks back, i noe my stupid attitude... always cant control my emotion been affected by external factors that cause her to be sad... So i promise her i wouldnt make the same problem again... But that day, i gt angry again of the external factors, i told her i dun wan to talk to her that day... Cause i noe i sure will lose my emotion again and vent on her... A mistake i make? Or maybe i phrase it wrongly... She say she wan to end...
Now for the past 3 days, she like didnt msg mi, when i ask whether is she avoiding mi, she told countless of times n-o... I try put myself in her shoes... ren n ren n ren... Jus nw veri late at nitez... i msg her whether is she is still studying... She cant reply a Yes ma? Is a yes realli so diff? Worried about her... i call her hp... End up, she reject my call... Does she noe hw worried i m today ma? I cant even slp? Ya... I noe i keep asking her if she avoiding mi? She told mi not really... But then is yes to my msg so hard? I jus wan to confirm ur status...
She once say she do not have to report to mi... M i possessive? Is concern realli possessive? I wan to do my best to let in to her, concern abt her... When it rain, i worried whether she cold, lunch worried she skip again, thunderstorm worried she scared... This 2 and plus years no matter wat result i get from my effort wo ren le... No matter hw tired i m, wo ren le... Cause i believe in the dream taht we can be together... At least go out as stead, watch movie, eat meal, do alot alot of things together... Silly? Because of this dream, i done so many things. RQ told mi b4, if using the econ supply and demand graph, my supply and demand will nvr meet...
Many ppl tell mi be initiative... I still not initiative? Jia you? I have oready pump alot till it overflow... Many ppl tell mi to give up... i cant k? Pls pls... i try alot of method... i try like a gal in my class last year... it realli dun work... i still love charrissa most... i cant do thing that betray this relationship... Sometimes realli wish she could see this... Realli hope that she understand what i have done and hope she appreciate...
Time nw 2.52am... Hope everythings will be fine later today ba... and wish her gd luck for the exam later...
"谈恋爱就像是钓鱼一样，要懂得几时松几时拉"
